High and Mighty Baku

The tension is palpable. The world prepares to focus on just one country.

Expect moments of intense apprehension, followed by eruptions of sheer joy.

The event will provide the host nation with an exceptional opportunity to show off their  proud achievements in industry, broadmindedness and, above all,  their people of all creeds, colours and classes.

The 2012 Eurovision Song contest is a beat away.

This year Azerbaijan plays host in their specially spruced up metropolis of Baku. This spin of fortune for the  recently independent country is a landmark occasion – on several levels.

First, the weightiest level:

Reportedly, Azerbaijan is ruled by a fabulously oil and natural gas rich dynasty that would put the likes of The Carringtons or Borgias to shame.

The International press often alleges the country, which joined the Council of Europe in 2001, of rampant corruption and election rigging.

All major posts seem to be bestowed on close family members and friends. Even the official interlude during this year’s event will conveniently offer a global stage to one of the family’s wanna-be pop idols.

The beautiful city of Baku’s traffic is lined with smart car marques and imposing posters of a benevolent leader. (Well, at least the posters were up a month prior to the world’s media coming to town).

New neighbourhoods are sprawling.  A forty-story high flagpole carries the country’s colours.   A specially built high- tech hall has been erected near to the grounds of evicted locals living in TV audience inappropriate  Soviet-style apartments.

Villagers beyond the city boundaries languish in poverty. Fear of being arrested for free speech, respects no city limits.

Eurovision’s organisers told the BBC that they were not entirely happy with the situation that may appear as a propaganda coup.

Which brings me to the next, far less sinister, but peculiarly connected oncern – San Marino’s song entry.

Originally, the song featured the brand word, Facebook, in its title.  However, contest regulations stipulated that such overt promotion couldn’t be tolerated.  So the song was retitled, “The Social Network Song (Oh, Oh, Uh, Oh, Oh)”.

In the face and booked.

That left the song’s performers with a problem – much of the lyrics rhymed with the brand name, “Facebook”.

Valentina Monetta: The Social Network Song (Oh,Oh, Uh – Oh Oh)

oo ooooooo ooo

I like

Are you ready for a little chat

And a song about the Internet

It’s a story ‘bout a social door

You’ve never seen before

If you wanna be seen by everyone

Wanna be in the dream and have some fun

If you wanna be on the hook

Then simply take a look

Refrain:

Oh Oh Uh Oh Oh

Everybody loves you so

Oh Oh Uh Oh Oh

Everybody that you know

Do you wanna be more than just a friend

Do you wanna play cyber sex again

If you wanna come to my house

Then click me with your mouse

Hello uh oh oh

Never gonna let you go

Your logging in then it begins

And your computer is waking you

Taking your time away

The scene is right for social light

You’re on the Internet anywhere

Anytime night and day

Oh Oh Uh Oh Oh

I like

Everybody loves you so

Oh Oh Uh-Oh Oh

Mi piace

Never gonna let you go

So you wanna make love with me

Am I really your cup of tea

Are you really the one that’s you

And am I really me

Oh Oh Uh Oh Oh

I like

Everybody loves you so

Social Network Oh

Mi piace

Never gonna let you go

You’re login’ in with just a friend

But soon the Internet’s

Beeping and peeping around the bend

We used to greet friends on the street

But now it’s googling giggling gaggling

When we meet

Beep Beep Uh Oh Oh

How about a little chat

Group: Oo oo network fans

Meet ya@ the internet

Do you really like politics

Wanna talk about dirty tricks

Are you really a sex machine

Or just a beauty queen

Everybody is better than before

Everybody is calling out for more

Everybody in cyber Ville

Is knocking on your door

Beep Beep Uh Oh Oh

I like

Everybody does a show

Oo Oo Uh-Oh Oh

Mi piace

If you like it click and go

Now you know it is easy loggin’ in

For a little more fun and cyber sin

Wanna know what the net’s about

The hard part’s loggin’ out

Oo Oo Uh-Oh Oh

Now I’ve got a million friends

This is how the story ends

Oh Oh –

Beep beep

In terms of pop profundity – well I am too old to offer credible criticism.

However, given the host nation’s blatant use of the event as an advertisement that technically, seems to contravene  broad international, including European Union, trade descriptions acts, some may consider it’s all a bit two-faced.

On the upside – whilst wealth can buy beautiful stadiums, overseas bank accounts, lavish corners of the world’s most sought after locations,  demolished neighbourhoods, silenced speech, suitably smiling locals and glamorous presenters, the Azerbaijani “Kedashians” overlooked one vital public relations error – the title of their Jungian revealing song entry: “When The Music Dies”

Jonathan Gabay

The new Novel

The Brand Messiah

www.thebrandmessiah.com

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